Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
