I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
