I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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