I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
