he wants to bone in the snuggie
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
