I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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