your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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