can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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