MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
