If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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