Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
