I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
