no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
