member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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