Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
