Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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