the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
