I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
