so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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