this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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