and you said cock pushups were impossible
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
