Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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