pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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