Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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