Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
