Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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