Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This house was built for laser tag.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
