there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
