sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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