it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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