I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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