Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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