so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize