Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
