I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
