I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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