would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
