a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
