he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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