if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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