i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
my vag is so smooth its legendary
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
