so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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