Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
