love makes seman taste better
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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