You really coming over, don't trick.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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