Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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