I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize