i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
