You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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