I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
