I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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