My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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