ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
