also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
