i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
so much tequila, so little girl.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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