And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
