no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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