When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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