i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
