Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
