therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
