real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
accomplished twins. life is a go
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
